S.A.D

S.A.D was created with the brief 'Game on Self' and was one of my first games as a Game Development Student at University. S.A.D reflected my daily struggle with anxiety and my home life, although, they are still struggles, I've learned to grow alongside them while growing as a person. Ask 16-year-old me if she would ever go to a party or move away from home. I've done things my past self could have never imagined. 

For my game on self, I’ve used PowerPoint to create a multiple-choice game on my anxiety. This platform allows easy implementation of a visual-novel feel, important as I am trying to tell my story and how I’ve learned from it. Throughout the game there are a series of metaphors that can encourage the visualisation and understanding of this type of experience such as choices. The choices guide the player through the impact of anxiety on life experiences, this is significant because they represent how mental illness can cause you to miss out on life and opportunities due to fear however, these decisions show that the real person in control is not anxiety but yourself.

The title of my game, S.A.D, stands for social anxiety disorder, giving players a clue as to what is to come from the game. Furthermore, the main characters name is a play on the word ‘anxiety’, Xenia. There is a series of events and choices that each replicate and represent my real-life experiences and how negative emotions and situations can arise due to anxiety such as misunderstanding, ignorance and feeling left out.

Throughout the game, the main character’s inner voice displays how mental illness can cause someone to overthink and overanalyse situations. By the end of the game, we see ‘Katrina’, a play on my own name. She represents how important voicing your worries and concerns are to learn to deal with anxiety. However, the main character is also meant to represent me and be an example of those suffering with mental illness, therefore, Xenia hasn’t really made a new friend but in metaphorical terms has come to accept her struggles and acknowledge that she must begin to listen to herself rather than anxiety to allow herself to experience life and live alongside her illness.